The Story By: Marie Allen

The Song

Written by: Marie Allen ©

I drive through the gates of this place now your home. 

I worry about you being cold and alone.

On my radio I play your favorite song.

I roll down the windows and I sing along.

I miss your voice, your hair, your smile, your loving hugs.

As I gaze at the sky through the clouds and the stars I

Sometimes think I see your face. An angel now you have no pain

and the lord will take my place.

He will comfort you and keep you safe until we are together again.

Until that time I’ll visit this place, I’ll play the song and I’ll sing along.

 

On Thursday, April 7th, I sat with Marie Allen and we spoke about Erin's Life and her spirit. She was inspired to write about how she celebrated Erin's birthday this year. She didn't have a title, so it's titled "Beautiful" 

"BEAUTIFUL"

"If I had to pick one word to describe my baby girl on the day she was born it would be beautiful. April 3, 1976 I was 25 years old and thought I was prepared to be a mom. I promised my baby I would always be there for her. I would do my best to earn the name “mommy”.  I didn’t take it lightly and relied on my mom and mother in law to help me whenever I had a question or concern. I was so happy and Erin was a very pleasant baby. Her smile would melt my heart and she smiled often.  

Let’s fast forward to last week. April 3, 2016. Erin’s 40th birthday, I got up early and got a shower. I slipped out of the house before anyone else got up and headed to the dollar store. I bought the brightest balloon they had and went right to the cemetery to spend some private time with Erin. I sat on the ground in front of her grave and the tears just poured down my cheek and onto the ground. I thought about all the things she has missed. I often wonder what she would have looked like today if I could see her. Still till this day I wonder why this happened. The drugs consumed her life at an early age and eventually killed her. She had met the devil (heroin) when she was around 19 and at 21 she was dead.

My life as I knew it no longer exists. I have totally changed. I will tell Erin’s story to anyone that will listen. I will relive that last day with Erin as often as I have to if it will stop one person from ever picking up drugs. I have been told that everything happens for a reason. I believe that Erin died so that others can live. In my heart, Erin is still with me but I lost a big part of my heart that day. I miss her."

-Marie Allen, Mother, Recovery Advocate, Founder of Heroin Alert NCC

Happy Birthday Erin!  I wish I could have known you.  Your mother continues to tell your story and talks about the person you were.  I know you are proud of your mother for her courage.  It is not easy to talk about traumatic events like this, but if it can save a life, it is worth it. -Erin Goldner